This is a passive-aggressive blog post for all of the boys I’ve dated or friends I’ve had who don’t know what their home needs in order to be a functioning adult. Now, I’m not perfect, and I don’t claim to set any standards, but here are 5 things that you need to have in order to be a real adult:
1) A guest hand towel
No, boys, I don’t want to dry my hands on the towel you’ve been using to wipe down you body for the past two weeks. Get a hand towel. They sell them right there next to the regular towels. They’re cheap and easy to throw in the laundry. Get some.
2) Wine glasses
At one time or another, someone will bring over a bottle of wine. Do not pull out plastic cups from which to drink it. Even if it’s cheap wine, it’s wine. It should feel classy. They’re not expensive – just overlooked.
3) Hand soap
One time, I was at a friend’s house when a puppy pooped on my hand. I ran to the bathroom only to find, to my complete horror, that there was no soap. Nothing: not even a bar. I had to use shampoo. Buy a nice dispenser and then you can get the huge bottles once a year. Really not hard.
4) A file box
Not everything in the world is online yet. There are still papers to organize, and you need a file box for them – with real, labeled folders and everything. You’ll thank me when you get audited.
5) Wall art
And I don’t mean dorm room wall art. Band posters and IKEA prints are, in most cases, not acceptable wall art. I recommend Goodwill, thrift shops, local art walks, Etsy, or Poster Cabaret (preferably framed). You really have no excuse.
